This is Sunday.

This is the Sunday that I know.
Wake up late.
Alone.
Lousy brunch/lunch.
Music.
Internet.
Housechores.
Maybe grocery shop but maybe not.(not enough $)
And do whatever I want.
Probably slack once more.

I do love it if my family are with me today but guess I am much accustomed to this kinda Sundays.

I always miss studying.
My bro asks me every now and then if I plan to further studies.(Throw in some random questions relating to this asked by colleagues and so on.)

If I am studying,I would probably be flipping some notes now.(or maybe not.) and my table would be pile with notes.And I would be blogging about campus life instead of the monotonous working lifestyle.

I said I have no money to carry on studies.(which is true.)
I dont wanna study for the sake of it.(which is true too.)

But really so what if I cont'd study?
I am in a line whereby I see graduates having more difficulty finding job than poly graduates.
Dont ask me to study HR.I will puke all over the place that you will have a very difficult time to clear up.
I,of all persons,have the most adverse likings for HR.
No doubt I am partially in the line now but at least it is still sales cum HR.

Speaking of sales,I always feel this burning hunger deep inside to get more.
It is not enough for me to just "sub" from Tracy.
I wanna get a big client for myself that I could get orders everytime.

For a month,it doesnt seem that bad but slightly more than half of my sales came from Tracy's orders.
It simply means without her,I will get no where close to what I closed as of today.

Clara always jokingly said that I would be buying all the LVs(they are branded freaks) in a few years to come.
Hell I care about the branded lifestyle.

Nothing pleases me more than the happiness that simplicity can brings.

No doubt I really envy those living in hotel-like apartments in town area.(Oh..those lavish lifestle.)
Have tea in a cafe and so...
Guess I would stick to what I am leading.
I so believe that if I manage to indulge in that lifestyle everytime,there is nothing worth to be envy about and then life gets boring.
And you will have nothing to look fwd to.

Such is humans.
Of coz I may not be saying the same things years down the road but well..wait till then.

So what do I care about the sales and the money that it can bring?

First it is an essential fuel to have in this line.
Secondly,I dun wanna be in the situations whereby at the end of each month,I fret about the drying river.
(And I will never have enough money to buy what I want.)

So starting now,more stringent plans.

I have no wish to acknowledge nor deny at the same time that who I am today is partially due to who my brother is.

I simply have no idea how people of my age can still shop so much,enjoy themselves so much despite the fact that they family is well off or not.
How did they get so much money?How come they can just do whatever they want?
I come to think that MONEY is the major source that marks the gap.

Like I realised that there is no unfairness in this world but only the fine line of gap between the rich and the poor.(thus the different treatment and life.)

And am I the only one that feel the need to push or simply because I put my family way on top of everything?

I am not open to expressing my concerns and love to my family.
Sometimes it almost seem that I aint doing anything for it.
But God knows that I am always trying.(Or am I really?)

Or...
It is just me.
Simply wants to excel when I always stuck in a world whereby there are always someone on top of you?
I dont care about the others,really.
I just wanna outdo myself each time.

Oh relax!
I always hear this from people who come to know who I am.
I do know how to,but there is only so much that I can enjoy.
I wanna do more,enjoy more,with nothing that can limits me AND bring the same kinda enjoyment that my family deserves.

But why is it that there is only this much that I can do?
Impatient I am?

At the end of the day...
Is everything that I talk about real or mainly a wrapper that beautifully coat my own selfish desires and fool the world?

I cannot tell what's right and wrong, what's real or not about me anymore.
I just choose to take one and believe that this is me.

This is not lost of identity.
But simply it came that I choose to decipher everything in a more complex manner.
I dunno why I would like to think so.

But I am not that complex,you see.
I am as simple as ABC.
The simplest gesture can bring sparks to my day.
So it is not difficult.

Remember that I once said that there is so many colours painted in me?
One contrasting and off setting another.

Anyway...it's ironic how a simple post becomes my blahing again.

Ignore this post.
*waves off*



Oh..BLAH!